A Certain Distance: Surfacing

by Philip LePage

25 years ago I woke up in a hospital with no memory of how I had gotten there. ‘A Certain Distance’ is an ongoing series of images exploring the things I haven’t been able to say to anyone. I repeatedly think that these aren’t the images I want to take. That this is a story I do not want to tell. Life now is often measured in the time between cigarettes.
I didn’t realize that in trying to hold things together I would make it even worse. That the distance I needed to maintain the fantasy would slowly separate me entirely from the people I love. It is impossible to have a connection to someone who can’t connect.
The images in this series are in some ways fragmented. Lives that no longer exist and disjointed memories that can’t be trusted mix with now. The myth we perceive as ourselves. They exist in that contradictory space between what I know and what I feel.

This is an ongoing project with the goal of producing a series of photographic short stories that explore the deeply personal space between what is known and what is felt: a study of mental illness.