I don’t feel like talking.
a selection of poems by Ren Hang

The poems have been selected and translated from Chinese to English, for Yogurt Magazine, by Elena Rebaudengo. This content is provided in association with Photography of China, a curatorial platform that has been offering an alternative vision of China and its history through the eyes of those who love photography.

I don’t feel like talking.
a selection of poems by Ren Hang

The poems have been selected and translated from Chinese to English, for Yogurt Magazine, by Elena Rebaudengo. This content is provided in association with Photography of China, a curatorial platform that has been offering an alternative vision of China and its history through the eyes of those who love photography.

Ren Hang 任航 (1987-2017) was a poet and photographer born in Nong’ An, a suburb of Changchun, capital of the north-eastern province of Jilin, called the “Detroit of China” for its automotive industry. At the age of seventeen, he left his hometown to settle down in Beijing to study marketing. His college work didn’t interest him so – to kill boredom – he bought himself a point-and-shoot film camera and taught himself to use it.

Ren created several photographic series between 2008 and 2016, in concomitance with poems and free verses that we wrote between 2007 and 2017. He was well known for his sexually-charged and explicit photographs, in which young naked bodies interlaced with one another in uncommon settings. 

His models (mostly friends) posed naked, in impromptu choreographies, stacked like compression sculptures, often contorted in unnatural shapes. Their body parts were interlaced with flowers, hairs, and animals amongst other atypical props. Ren combined indoors, outdoors, natural and urban environments to create fanciful raw portrayal of young people, regardless their gender. His goal was to “portray every organ in a fresh, vivid and emotional way.” Bright, lurid, blunt, the eroticism in Ren’s works is obvious. Yet they also convey a strong poetic and evocative force. “People come into this world naked and I consider naked bodies to be people’s original, authentic look,” Ren told vice magazine back in 2013. “I feel the real existence of people through their naked bodies.”

Ren Hang committed suicide on February 24th in Beijing. He was 29. Ren Hang’s complete journal of depression, originally written in Chinese, was published for the very first time in English by The Chronicle. Yogurt Magazine’s mid-fall night dream was to feature some of his poems. Here is a selection of Ren Hang’s poetry exclusively translated into English by Elena Rebaudengo.

photographyofchina.com
renhang.org

《我不想说话》
有时候我不想说话
不是无话可说

有时候我不想出门
也不是无路可投

有时候我只是想
安静地躺一会
2013.01.10

《I don’t feel like talking》
Sometimes words can’t leave my mouth
But it’s not because I have nothing to say

Sometimes I can’t go out
But it’s not because there are no more roads to wander

Sometimes I just want
to lie down quietly for a while.
10.01.2013

《正在做梦》
因为在梦里
我已经操过你
无数次
所以当我终于
找到机会
真的可以
操你的时候
却也变得好像
正在做梦

早知道
在梦里我就
不操你了
2014.02.17

《While dreaming》
Because in my dreams
I’ve already fucked you
Countless times
So when I finally
Have the opportunity
To really
Fuck you
It feels like
I’m dreaming

I already know
In my dream
I wouldn’t fuck you
17.02.2014

《最完美的一夜情》
你的屁眼又黑又臭
他的鸡巴又肥又骚
你嘴里喊着王力宏
他心里想着金城武
2011.09.12

《The most perfect one night stand》
Your asshole is black and stinky
His dick is fat and restless
You shout Wang LeeHom
He is thinking about Takeshi Kaneshiro
12.09.2011

《天亮》
聚会将结束
女孩将老去
我们将醒来
为青春收尸
2008.04.07

《Dawn》
The party will end
The girl will grow old
We will wake up
To bury our youth
07.04.2008

《我不喜欢照镜子》
我很孤独
我觉得镜子也很孤独
但是我情愿我们各自孤独
我从来不相信
负负得正
我只相信
1+1=2
2013.01.10

《突然发现》
我突然发现
我变了
变得懒惰、世故
贪婪、虚荣
但是更庆幸得是
我也发现
这才是真正的我
2014.04.08

《I don’t like to look at myself in the mirror》
I’m lonely
I think the mirror is lonely too
I wish we could have each other
But I ‘ve never believed
two negatives could make a positive
I only believe that
1+1=2
10.01.2013

《It suddenly happened》
I suddenly discovered
I’d changed
I’ve become lazy, sophisticated
greedy, vain
But luckily enough
I also discovered
That this is the real me
08.04.2014

《爱情》
我买一把刀
我们可以共用
如果你不爱我了
我就杀掉你
如果我不爱你了
你就杀掉我
2017.01.04

《爱情》
我回头
你还站在那里
我又回头
你还站在那里

我再回头
门关上了
我看不到你
但是我知道
你还站在那里
2017.01.04

《我的爱情》
我的爱情
走了

后来又
回来过一次
可是我却
没在家
2016.01.02

《Love》
I’ve bought a knife
We can use it together
If you don’t love me anymore
I will kill you
If I don’t love you anymore
You will kill me
04.01.2017

《Love》
I turn my head
You are still there
I turn my head again
You are still there

I turn my head once more
The door is closed now
I can’t see you anymore
But I know
That you are still there
04.01.2017

《My love》
My love
has gone

Later
It came back
But I
wasn’t at home
02.01.2016

《我总是感到寂寞》
如果不喝水
就不用撒尿
如果不吃饭
就不用拉屎
如果也不用睡觉
那样是不是会
省掉很多时间

可是省掉的时间
又能拿来干什么

我总是感到寂寞
又从不愿意承认
2016.01.02

《I always feel lonesome》
If I don’t drink
I don’t need to piss
If I don’t eat
I don’t need to shit
If I also didn’t need to sleep
wouldn’t that
save me a lot of time

But what would I do
With the time I saved?

I always feel lonesome
But I’ve never been willing to admit it
02.01.2016

《午夜街头》
翻来覆去
睡不着
索性起来
穿上衣服
出去走走

午夜街头
空荡荡的
他妈的
想杀几个人
都没有
2016.01.04

《Midnight street》
Tossing and turning
I can’t fall asleep
I might as well get up
Put on some clothes
And go out

Midnight street
It’s fucking
desolate
I feel like killing someone
But there’s no one
04.01.2016

《爱情》
我知道
我会爱你
可是我怎么
也想不到
你也会爱我

更让我不敢
相信的是
你竟然也是
这样想的
2017.01.04

《Love》
I knew
I would love you
But I
never imagined
You would love me too

What’s even more
Unbelievable
Is that you
were feeling the same
04.01.2017

《你在我的嘴里走路》
我帮你脱鞋,
脱袜子,
舔你的脚趾。
含着它们,
就像你在我的嘴里走路,
一直可以走到我心里去。
2010.10.23

《You walk in my mouth》
I help you take off your shoes
Take off your socks
I lick your toes.
I keep them in my mouth,
As if you were walking in my mouth,
You can walk straight into my heart.
23.10.2013

《理想》
我想拍部A片
或者演部A片
不过我只想
演A片里的床
2008.04.13

《Ideal》
I want to shoot a porn movie
or I want to act in a porn movie
But I only
want to be the bed
13.04.2008

《温柔》
星期五的电话
是为了星期六的约会
星期天的星星
是为了点缀情人的眼睛
2008.03.14

《Tender》
Friday’s phone call
Is for Saturday’s date
Sunday’s stars
Are to dot a lover’s eyes.
14.03.2008

《我爱你》
想在你身后,
看你走路的姿势,
盯着你并不丰满的屁股看。
想去你家。
想跟你睡一张拥挤的铁床,
在半夜突然醒来,
舔你的眼睫毛,
摸你冻裂的嘴唇。
想在早上抢着穿你的内裤,
让你穿我的,
看你站着小便,
拍下你用过没冲的厕所。
2010.02.13

《I love you》
I want to be behind you,
To look at your posture when you walk,
To stare at your small ass.
I want to go to your place.
I want to sleep with you in a crowded iron cot,
To suddenly awaken in the middle of the night
Lick your eyelashes,
Feel your broken lips.
In the morning I want to take off your underwear,
Let you wear mine,
Watch you pee standing,
and photograph the toilet you just used.
13.02.2010

IMAGES CREDITS:
© Ren Hang, Courtesy ON/gallery